Airplane Grief

I've long been convinced that flight attendants conspire to place a "Seat Molester" behind me. A "Seat Molester" is a passenger who, consciously or not, cant refrain from manhandling, kicking, groping, fondling, and/or perturbing the seat before him/her for the duration of the flight. If it is your seat being so abused, . . . well . . . let's just say it's no fun. Even as an elite Gold member, I'm routinely assigned in front of a Seat-Mo. However, perhaps wishing to avoid my suspicions, they threw me a curve ball on my recent flight to LAX. The heavy-set man seated in the middle of my row slept throughout our flight, but since his neck muscles have atrophied and since he's carrying too much weight in...it seems...his forehead, his cranium would drop forward at regular intervals before being jerked back by his entire upper body. Given his girth, every head-drop plus corrective lurch ended in a butt thump for the entire row. The effect was not unlike having all the annoyances of a roller coaster ride and none of the joys.

If you have the time, as I do, to keep track of such things, add "Lolling Head Rocker" to the list of things that have leached the pleasure out of airplane travel.